A Year Ago Today

This time last year, I sat in my hotel room in the middle of Delhi, exhausted and distracted. I had an upcoming assignment due in the next week and just came back from a trip to Agra. I had spent the early morning staring up at a magnificent and monstrous tomb, the Taj Mahal. I sat on my chair replaying all of the amazing sites, smells, and emotions. My mind hopped from one thing to the next but kept looping back to one thing, the arrival of an email. Today was the day I would find out if I would be a selected as a Watson Fellow, an opportunity to explore a subject that has guided me through most of my life. I dreamed of this new journey, of the people I would get to meet, of the new knowledge I would acquire, and the new places and cultures I would get to witness. I sat as these made-up images swam through my mind, anticipation clogged my throat. I wanted this so badly. Then in the late evening, the red dot arrived on my desktop, new mail in my inbox. My breathe caught as I stared at my cursor that sat over the email, waiting for me to click it open. This was it. I sped through the process, reading at lighting speed until I reached the part I waited so long to see. The words “congratulations on…” didn’t process fast enough, tears had already filled my eyes. I got it. After a few calming breathes and laughs to myself, I walked across the hall where one of my best friends was living. With a single look, we crumpled to the ground a cried, and laughed, and celebrated.

This was a year ago today. I write this memory down on-top of my bed in Ampititafika, Madagascar. The months prior have been filled with ups and downs, those conversations I dreamed of having, and experiences I could never have dreamed of. I haven’t changed in the past year, instead I think I just grew into myself more. I’ve had the opportunity to sit and think, to be alone with myself. I’ve stepped past the borders of my project and of countries, to truly experience what the world has to offer. All of its complexities, and while doing this I also learned more about my own complexities. I am still trying to figure out who I am but this past year I feel that I’ve taken a few steps in the right direction.